DRINKING IN LIFE II
Destiny, OIC
Living In Abuse
I’ve wasted years of my life in an abusive marriage. I remember when I started dating him we had so much in common, but then we were young and into partying and having a good time. It seems as I grew out of that lifestyle he didn‘t, his drinking started increasing and when things started going wrong for him it was always my fault, I was to blame.
I grew up finding my self worth in what other people thought about me. And the way he treated me, the way he talked to me became a constant stream of put downs and I began looking at myself the same way. I’d think it must be something I’ve done wrong, it must be something that I’m not doing to show my worthiness. It got to where I’d live for that one kind word and I’d hold onto that like it was a promise of a new life. His promises of doing better were always the same the end result was always they were lies. Then the verbal abuse turned to physical and I was being held captive to fear.
Then I met Jesus He called me in a very real way and I saw hope. When I confided in my Christian friend about my marriage she would tell me to pray and it would get better, but it didn’t in fact it got worse. Then Jesus strengthened me to leave and not look back and its only gotten better as I walk in His Healing Love and Light.
I don’t regret the years I tried to make the marriage work, nor am I mad at God for not fixing it. I know now He had something better for me and I ever thankful to Him for His mercy and grace on m life.
